shoutout to the 'A LIVES' peeps

I say hello to all in Allison Lives land! Do you remember me? I am called Russ. They discovered the oldest solar observatory in the Americas in coastal Peru!

Anyone want to travel to Chankillo?

Oak: The Other White Meat

Does this website still allow others to post entries?

Costume Ideas for Allie B

Some Halloween costume ideas for Allie B.

1.) Shave your head and be X-Men’s Charles Xavier.
2.) A member of the band KISS
3.) Wrap yourself in tin foil and be Jiffy Pop popcorn.
4.) Throw a sheet over yourself and you’ve got insta-ghost!
5.) George Bush

russ lives

I’m the new proprietor here at this website. What I say goes. I control everything. I’m the God. I’m the GOD!! Let the battle begin! Bring it.

Allie “THC” B.

Allison sent me a money order for 300 US dollars and a begging, pleading calligraphy scrawled letter asking me to post something on her website. She even said I could curse and scream and be vile and filthy and she wouldn’t care. I immediately knew something was wrong. Not being a prier, I decided not to question why she “doesn’t care” and dashed to the “store” and spent her money on purchasing copious amounts of marijuana from my dealer to smoke myself into oblivion day and night.

Along with the weed I purchased a nice glass pipe “for tobacco use only.” I named the pipe Rod Smith and it’s blue and orange and glass and pretty. I got amazingly high when I first smoked from it. Did you know I was a reffer addict? It doesn’t affect my job or me. I am a fully functioning member of society who now has a 300-dollar stockpile of the kindest buds available bought at a fair market value. A reasonable price. 300 bucks buys a gaggle of kind. That kind be good smoke. That green relieves stresses. I work the smoke, a steady stream. I once smoked a bowl with Jean-Luc Picard. I once shared a phatty blunt with strangers on a street corner. I once toked the Mary-J joint with a street person in San Francisco.

I thank Allison for sending me a money order so that I could support my weed habit. I hope she thanks me for posting something on her website.

Maybe she should get high. That might spark some creative juices locked within her “doesn’t care” mind. I want to smoke the weed with Allison. I’m sure she wants to smoke the weed with me.

Who else would like to share a tender moment with me taking rips from the gravity bong?

BACON CAM

Who else do you know that is so cool that he/she/it has a bacon cam? Nobody. I rule.

beggar

A pleading email I received from Allison:

Russie:

Please put something on my website. I am a guest author on your radhole. My website is a collaborative effort and you have been slacking more than everyone else … well except for China Bob. Who knows where China Bob has been? Do I have to bribe you in some way to add something genius to my website? Make you cookies perhaps? Send you pounds of un-ground coffee beans? Cash monies? Favors?

I know that you were disturbed by the fact that I cleaned out my archives and deleted all of the images you posted in the past, making your “category” filled with nothing but the dreaded blank “Xes” and a few snippets of text. I am running out of space! I only have 1 MB of image space. Please post something other than images because they will be deleted eventually, leaving blank “X” posts and we wouldn’t want that would we?

Hey, you could be the blank “X” poster. It’ll be your shtick.

Do it.

Sincerely,

Allie B

Dang, I wrote a country song

all heartache of the world
happened this weekend
when my girl left me
and my pet rodent Leland died

friday night my car broke down
my DVD player was ruined
I ran out of propane
no grilling meat for me

my computer hard drive crashed
my phone was shut off
I have a migraine headache
my boots are all scuffed

Dang it’s a sad song
This country song
Nothing good happens at all
In my country life
In this country song
Dang it’s a sad song

saturday I noticed I’m going blind.
my glasses broke.
my pants split unsightly
I burned a hole in my shirt with my cigarette.

I lost my voice Sunday
after bein’ scolded by my preacher
my waterbed sprung a leak
and my magazine collection was ruined

I have had hiccups for 3 days
and heartburn for 4
no more grease cakes for me
I miss my grease cakes

Dang it’s a sad song
This country song
Nothing good happens at all
In my country life
In this country song
Dang it’s a sad song

non-English-speaking lands

Glückliche Montreal Tag (Happy Montreal Day). On this date in 1604 the town of Montreal was founded. Don’t you wish you lived in Canada? I don’t.

It is Friday. Thanks goodnesses. I love posting on this website. I wish people read what I write. I just learned to read and write 4 years ago. I have mastered the English language. My ancestors from the non-English-speaking lands would be so proud of me.

Eat your heart out Yosemite Sam

Give Russ The Glad Hand

Here is a picture of my hand. There is no need to adjust your screen. This is the actual size of my hand. It’s minuscule compared to Allison’s. I didn’t say anything about my teeny hands before because I was so embarrassed.

Now that Allison has a complex about her freakishly small hands, I thought I would fess up about my midget hands. I don’t shake hands much because even children’s hands dwarf mine. I don’t even hi-five anyone. I can barely hold a pen or pencil. Mittens do not fit me right. Hand models scorn me.

I am a 30-year-old normal-sized man with teeny hands. Even respected doctors refuse to examine me, for I am 1 in 100,000,000 with a condition known as SDHS (Stunt Diminutive Handy Syndrome).

It is as if a burden has been lifted.

incentive package

Dear Captain Megan:

As the self-proclaimed motivational speaker for your "taking over the world team," I humbly request that you devise an incentive package for your team, to include the following items, but not limited to:

1.) Membership cards w/ photo
2.) Complimentary colored pencils
3.) A musical mix CD
4.) Tickets to something, anything
5.) Water filters
6.) Training every 6 months
7.) Chocolate

Please spend at least $400-$1000 on each member of the team. Thanks for your support. I hope to sit back and watch what you do upon taking over the world.

Sincerely,

Russ Dale
Denver, CO

Beringia

my peoples crossed Beringia yo!

colored undies

Yesterday, as I was sitting at home, at my console, checking my massive influx of fan mail in my Gmail account, I was accosted by a freaky chat dialogue box: “What color panties are you wearing?” I was appalled. And intrigued. I never get “smut” messages.

It was Allison! I answered, “Pink of course!”

Her smut-side is … hot.

Allison’s whole family makes me laugh. Even Vince. I am glad to have them in my life, although it’s really indirectly, as I live in the Denver, Colorado USA.

Random Meals and Appetizers part 2

Since this place is bubbling with inactivity, I am forced to post this:

Random Meals and Appetizers part I

Complete the sentences

I created this stupid survey thingie and you all better do it.

Complete the sentences:

1.) Allison is ______________________
2.) Zeke the dog is ________________
3.) Friday means __________________
4.) If lard were a vegetable, I would eat _______ servings a day.
5.) Britney Spears is a ______________
6.) I built a _______ out of legos.
7.) Your own sentence goes here.

RAD THUG

bah!

I thought I had something witty and fun to say but I lost it.

“Tracy-esque here”

Could anyone’s “framed category picture” be anymore more offensive and unattractive than mine? My representation looks like a drunken, double-chinned Dick Tracy/ Theodore Roosevelt wannabe with a mustache that looks like a dirty mouth. If Pat Robertson saw it, he would call for my assassination. Or pray that God smote me. Or try to exercise the demons from me. He’s a whacko. Robertson, not Tracy/Roosevelt.

I kid thee Allison. I love my picture. It kinda sorta looks like me if you squint hard enough.

Happy Friday to everyone.

real warp drive

I think Allison should champion real warp drive. Who isn’t hot for Breakthrough Propulsion Physics (BPP)? Better get working Allison, because I hanker for interstellar travel. Here is what you need:

(1) propulsion that requires no propellant mass
(2) propulsion that attains the maximum transit speeds physically possible
(3) breakthrough methods of energy production to power such devices

Thanks in advance.