hopefully you will think this is bizzare or i need a head check.

Saturday night: I get off work late at the bookstore, bike over to a bar in an unfamiliar part of town to meet up with some friends. It's a little shady (mostly cuz I don't know the area... who knows?) so, I don't wanna have to lock up my bike too far away. Quick scan of the area and there aren't too many poles around. With a slight shrug of the shoulders lock it to a railing of the neighboring house keeping in mind that it is not obstructing any pathway in or out of said house, so on, so forth.

Proceed into bar and start off a dandy night of beer drinking and socializing... until (foreshadowing sounds of doom) cops pull up into the bar.
"DID ANYONE IN HERE LOCK THEIR BIKE UP NEXT DOOR?"
I quickly jump up mumbling under breath "well.. this is a little embarrassing" to little giggles and laughter.

Outside: face wrath of stick-in-mud-crazy-old-lady. I, luckily not intoxicated (not that I ever am) approach the situation with humility and cool-headedness...

"yes, ma'am I am very sorry. I did not realize it was going to be a problem."
"YOU SURE ARE SORRY! only a SORRY PERSON would disrespect somebody like that!" (I continue apologies for my sorry person while removing offending article.)

After locking bike up elsewhere, I return to scene of crime to undergo questioning and battering from cop and defendant. The cop takes down my information while stick-in-mud-crazy-old-lady literally stands there with arms crossed and shaking head and intermittenly interjects about how I am rude. Apparently this scene occurs every single night (with only a change in the accused individuals).

Rather than informing me of reasons why this is illegal (since I am dealing with enforcers of the law) the cop goes on to give me a morality lesson:
"HOW would YOU like it if someone let their dog POOP on YOUR front steps?!"
"Hah, yeah. I mean, no, I wouldn't really like that." (Is this cop comparing my bike to dog poop? That is rather rude. and FURTHERMORE... I wouldn't care at all if they cleaned it up before I had to walk down the stairs which would be the case with my BIKE.)

After more ado and to-do I am granted my leave. Turning to the offended, "Well, ma'am at any rate, I apologize again for my rude display. I was obviously not thinking." (My apologies are not getting me anywhere.)

Yeah, don't mess with me, man. I am a law breaker. I'd say my for my first real run in with the law on the wrong side, it was a rather humorous and puzzling experience, though like all problems with the law, on whatever side, just a bit infuriating. Just another antecdote (or rant) about how nobody makes no sense these days. Can't believe they had plural number of cops responding that quickly to a call like that. I guess I could find comfort in that.

I'm kinda poor okay.

I love this particular pair of jeans... and can't really seem to let them go. When they developed holes in the knees I thought, "Hey that's alright its hip to have holey jeans right?" Then it got a hole in the seat of the pants and I got pretty worried. But have no fear, I decided my own home-made and sewn patch is still pretty cool right.

... and then (noise of doom)... the crotch started to go. and now things are pretty desperate. Yesturday I tried sewing it up again and making repairs to other new forming holes. egads. My roommate looked on disapprovingly.

Its like stuffing your dead dog or something... maybe its time to let them go.

Waffle House

For my "vacation" my roommate and I took a 6am flight down to Alabama only to turn around and drive 20 hours back. The purpose was to help our Alabaman friend make the trip up here after his 6 month long exile from Philadelphia.

This trip involved a lot of uncomfortable car sleeping, driving obviously, and waffle house. Okay, waffle house. My roommate (born and raised in North Philadelphia) was overly excited about the novelty of the waffle house which we have come to view as a true icon of the South. For some reason she is really into the idea of fast food served up on real plates.

Now, I'm not too picky about where I get my food on the road, but after our second waffle house in one day, I was opting for something a little less greasy and ordered a salad. The waitress gave me a blank stare as if salad was not really on the menu for ordering. I pointed to it on the menu, she regained her composure and scribbled it into her pad.

Waitress returns with salad... covered in chunks of ham. Uhm... hm. I'm in the South. I don't think they really get vegetarianism. I stare at the salad blankly. What is one Northeastern vegetarian to do? I try to be as inconspicuous as possible about my alarm at this ham. She drawls is everything alright. I nod.

I suck it up and start shoveling ham off my plate as quick as possible right onto Alabama boy's hash browns (which are already smothered and covered with cheese and enough grease to make anyone vomit.) The whole kitchen staff of about 3 or 4 people start walking by our table staring over and snickering.

Upon leaving the waitress made sure to corner me to ask me how I liked my salad. "It was great, yeah. real good."

My roommate says I wouldn't last a week in the South.

chilling out and handymen

So, after a long day of stressful freaked out anxiety ridden work, you would think that coming home to the handyman working on your house banging on things and cutting your internet connection just might add to some amount of stress. However, we happen to have an extraordinary handyman. At first I was a little annoyed when he started rebuking me for my messy room and telling me that our (cheap) beer of choice for the house is a little subpar, however he has turned out to be quite the asset to the household despite these minor admonishments.

In fact the other day I came home in all manor of curses unloading on him about the insane homeless people I deal with on my job and the overwhelming work load I have to deal with despite it being winter "break." Then cursed my coat for its dysfunctional zipper as I clambered and slithered stepping out of it. He replies that I really need to chill out to which I remind myself this is merely the handyman and get to work on rewriting a paper which had gotten corrupted on some disk.

About an hour later he reappears bearing a case of very nice beer to make up for the amount of time he is inconveniencing my roommates and I while fixing a room in our place. I'd say this is pretty decent service and promptly began my chilling out by helping my self to a nice cold one.

But never fear, I got some papers written and even got them printed out using his printer. hahaha. yeah. Guy lives directly across the street. And even made me some chicken (that I had to decline for vegetarianism's sake) to eat for dinner while I used up his entire stack of printing paper.

They say you don't get to know your neighbors in big cities. haha.