Today

I'm clean... My shower experience this morning was fantastic. And by "experience" I mean actually taking one. It was by far one of the best showers I've ever taken. I even left a note for the handymen working on my bathroom saying how much I enjoyed it. They probably think I'm a big dork, but really, you can't be stingy with handing out compliments. They're doing a fantastic job on my bathroom and I want them to know it.

On to less personal news... I watched American Idol last night and was surprised to see Constantine get the boot. Not that I'm sorry about that. I'm not. Perhaps the good people of America got tired of him trying to make love to us all through the TV set. I'm glad he's gone, but I continue to be shocked that "The Body" Savol is still hanging around. Who is voting for this guy? I better not find out it's one of my readers.

Because I know you're keeping track... Again, in honor of Erin's lack of professionalism in the workplace, I am wearing a white T-shirt with a navy hooded fleece and grey pants today. Tomorrow is Casual Friday so I'll probably wear jeans again. I'll dress up on Monday.

Freaks on parade... This Michael Jackson trial really is quite a spectacle. How can there be so many crazy people involved in one trial? And we haven't even gotten to the defense's witnesses yet. Let's all hope that Liz Taylor isn't called to the stand. "Whaaaaat? Whaaaat?!"

Dressing the part

My friend Erin, who works at a landscaping company, was reprimanded by her boss for not dressing professionally because she was wearing cargo pants and a cute black shirt. I find that pretty funny because Erin is one of the classiest-looking females I know. She always looks nice. You wouldn't think one who has no direct customer interaction at a landscaping company would have to wear professional business attire, but what do I know?

So in honor of Erin, I am wearing jeans and my lowest cut white blouse today. And I still look more appropriate than about 10% of the people in my office building.

Day 3

It is Day 3 without a shower. My washcloth and I have formed a tight bond. A coworker told me my hair looked great today. And without a hint of sarcasm. Hmmm. I think tomorrow may actually be Shower Day. I am excited.

Dirty people unite

My friend Beverly told me this morning she couldn't believe I posted about how dirty I am without a functioning shower. Hahaha! I'm shameless. For those of you counting, this is Day 2 without a shower. Let's say it all at once... EWWWW! Please, people. It's not like dirt is falling off me. I washed my hair in the sink. I scrubbed under my arms this morning. I EVEN USED SOAP. I don't stink...yet. For the record, I hate not going without my morning shower. But sometimes you just have to make do.

I'm willing to bet there are more people out there -- people who have fully functioning showers -- who don't shower daily. That's right. You know who you are. Now's the time to confess.

Nothing but grey smoke

And to those who have asked about my job interview, thanks for asking! I haven't heard back yet. I'd really like the job. Currently, I'm sitting watch outside the building waiting for the white puff of smoke that signifies they've chosen a new Web/Print Production Guru.

I'm a dirty girl

I did nothing this weekend but help transport boxes of junk to the new house. Vince and Steph came down from Philadelphia to help take down and clean. The highlight of the weekend was watching them put together my closet.

Although I am completely moved into the new house, my bathroom is still in the process of being revamped. So unfortunately, to the dismay of all my coworkers, I was not able to shower this morning. I am hoping my bathroom is completed very quickly. VERY.

I'll keep you posted.

Why?

I know I've mentioned this before... It continues to puzzle me why somebody would pay $40 to $50,000 for a luxury car and then put a pine tree air freshener on the rear-view mirror. Am I the only one who thinks that looks cheap?

Fresh stupidity

The traffic around the Baltimore-Washington area just kills me. Granted, it's not like New York or L.A. traffic, but the amount of traffic is still more than the roads can often handle. This is why my long-term goal is to marry a rich doctor and move to the Southwest desert where there are more armadillos than people. But in the short term, I'm going to have to develop more patience in order to drive anywhere around here.

On the way back from my job interview Tuesday, I was about ready to take the entrance ramp to get on the BW Parkway toward D.C. when I noticed a few cars pulled off on the shoulder of the ramp and backing up. I quickly slammed on my brakes and thought, "Great. There's a backup or an accident on the parkway." I pulled off on the side of the road and tried to decide whether I should continue and wait in slow traffic or find another route. After watching a few cars speed off down the ramp, I decided to take my chances and get on the parkway. That was really stupid because the parkway was a big parking lot. Nobody was even moving a foot.

So I pulled off on the shoulder of the ramp like others had behind me and tried to figure out what to do. Do I (1) keep going and tough it out or (2) slowly back all the way up on the shoulder of the road? Neither choice was too appealing because (1) I severely lack the kind of patience that enables me to sit in parked traffic without bursting into tears after 30 minutes and (2) I suck at backing up.

So, disregarding all traffic laws and basic common sense, I did a three-point-turn and drove the wrong direction back up the entrance ramp waving at the backers on the shoulder as I passed them. I got some nasty looks and one guy even rolled his window down and started yelling at me. I shouted back, "It's a parking lot! Don't go down there!" Yes, I am stupid and a hazzard to society. But at least I am not still sitting in gridlock on the BW Parkway.

Unauthorized Patooey

I do not have Allison’s permission to put any sort of words on her website.

But alas, Allison is moving. While she is moving, I will “move in” on her territory, ie, post random things on her website. She cannot stop me. Well … … she can by deleting this message. I hope she does not delete it.

Allison, may your move go well and be stress-free.

In the meantime, I will randomly pop in to fill this space with hopefully entertaining stuffs. Requests? Advise? Comments? Songs?

Job, job, job

I've got a job interview tomorrow. So pour the wine and let's drink to me not saying something ridiculously inane like I usually do. Oh, and let's drink again to me managing to get in the door of the building without looking like a total retard.

Moving

Posting will be light until after I move. The moving date is Thursday and I'll be without Internet access shortly. I'll have to take some pictures of the new digs. I spent all day on Saturday watching my friend Erin paint my walls. It kills me that I can't climb up a ladder and do it myself.

Anyhow, make sure you check out Vince and Steph's site for postings on their trip to Cancun.

Can you say sucker?

Last week, I bought a $6 bag of gummy bears off a kid who was selling candy for some charity. And the sad thing is that I didn't pay a ridiculous amount because it was for a good cause. No, what got me was when the kid said something like, "How 'bout some gummy to feel good in your tummy?" and then broke into dance. If all salesmen sold products like that, I'd be a broke woman.

For the touch of the younger kind

I think it's hilarious that Bush's iPod song list has made such big news. Apple must be in heaven right now. Most of the songs on his iPod are country or "boomer pop" like "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Centerfield." But the song which seems to have caught the most attention is "My Sharona" by The Knack. And thank God we have the editors of Rolling Stone, who think "My Sharona" is a "suggestive if not outright filthy" song, to give us deeper insight on this most important story. It's difficult to believe such morally upright and prudish thinkers are actually employed by Rolling Stone. But, hey, I do believe Rolling Stone would condone baby seal clubbing if it presented them with an opportunity to ridicule Bush.

When I was a freshman in high school, I discovered the Reality Bites soundtrack, which included "My Sharona," and played that bad boy to death. I loved that song (along with that stupid Dinosaur Jr. song) although I never really knew all the words or thought hard enough about what they meant. I'd just sit there with the tape in my walkman and play it and rewind it over and over. But, yeah. That is a dirty song. You have to admit though... It's catchy. And it will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day, I'm sure.

"Come a little closer--huh... A-would'ya--huh..."

What would really concern me would be finding 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" on the President's iPod. That's not really Bush's style though. I bet it's on Clinton's.

Monster under the bed

I'm getting the feeling that Zeke doesn't really love me... He loves my wheelchair instead. Of course, it's only natural that he associate the wheelchair with me. I'm always in it. But it's getting to the point where, if I'm not in it and anyone else touches it, he has a fit.

Zeke sleeps under my bed at night and, in the morning, if my mother or anyone else sits in the chair or tries to move it, a deep gutteral growl can be heard followed by sheer pandemonium. He springs out from beneath the bed, barking and growling and threatening to tear a limb off. "Hands off my chair!" he shrieks and then he spends the remainer of the morning curled up in the seat as if he is attempting to comfort the poor chair from it's abusers. It really would be scary if it weren't so funny. It good to know he's protective, but come on! What about me?

Falling from the Ugly Tree

Everyone usually agrees that Prince William is a cutie. But Prince Harry? He certainly has some odd facial expressions.

But who am I to point that out? I'm sure glad I don't have paparrazzi snapping pics of me.

The lengths illegals go

Sometimes I fall victim to the media when they berate this country of ours for any number of reasons. We are selfish and too captitalistic, we have bad health care, our corporations and politics are corrupt, etc. And then articles like this put it somewhat in perspective.

Despite all the U.S.'s "evils," people are going to such great lengths to get here.
*One woman and her three-year-old daughter curled up in the gas tank of a Grand Caravan to cross the border.
*Immigrants have been stuffed into washing machines.
*They have been sewn into car seats.
*Smugglers have disguised their vehicles to look like TV news vans and border patrol trucks.
*Immigrants have tried attaching cow hooves(!) to their feet to disguise their footprints.
*Cubans have sailed cars through the sea.

I am grateful to live here.

It's a hot one

80 degrees today. And it's the beginning of Spring. I have flannel sheets on my bed. Perhaps I'll sleep in the buff tonight. I'll tell ya what... That'd be the best anti-burglary device ever. One glimpse and they'd run.

My friend Bev dropped Zeke off at the groomers at 10 a.m. for his summer cut and teeth brushing. When I went to get him at 3 p.m., he wasn't finished yet. Why does it take over 6 hours at the groomers to clip a small dog? Eh. Well, at least he's not hot. He looks naked though.

No linky love

I need to update my links. At least 8 of the sites I like to frequent have either gone belly up or not posted in over a month or two. How sad!

Say it aint so

A Britney Spears/Kevin Federline (or should I say K-Fed?) reality show? Noooooooo! This is bad news indeed.

"As I mentioned before, I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art. This series will show us falling in love and all the adventures that went on overseas during the European leg of my 'Onyx Hotel' tour. It's going to be an exciting ride."

Expressing her personal life through art. Art? Is that what reality shows are these days? I can hardly wait.

Things to do

1. Take Zeke to the groomers tomorrow morning. I always know when his hair is too long when he starts getting food and chunks of poop stuck in it. It's nasty. He's such a filthy dog. I don't want to touch him.

2. Finalize picking a paint color for my walls. As soon as I think I have one, I begin doubting. Suggestions?

3. Buy more Listerine. If I don't get any soon, I might actually have to start brushing my teeth in the morning.

All the small things

1. Daylight Savings was this Saturday night and ever since, I've been all mixed up. I've gone through the entire day not knowing whether I was behind an hour or not. I hate that.

2. You know when you've been going to a particular restaurant too often when the several of the waitstaff approach you while your dining to say hi or chat. But like Cheers, sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name (or face at least).

3. I really like the show, Lost, even though it's one of those weird sci-fi types that I normally hate. I think there's enough of a normal feel to it to overshadow the bizarre. I hate when I miss an episode.

4. I went to Home Depot last week to pick out tile and countertops. It seemed like ever corner I turned, there was another screaming kid. What are so many screaming infants doing at a hardware store? You'd think that'd be the last place you'd find them. I'd hate to work there. Between all the loud noises, screaming children, and that awful hardware store smell, my nerves would be completely shattered and I'd be cranky all the time. As if I'm not cranky enough already...

5. I asked my sister Stephanie what she was doing next weekend. "Oh, we'll be in Cancun." Ooooh. Well, excuse me. Like it's just another silly vacation. Apparently, they've tired of the cold weather and think it'd be nice to spend some time on a warm beach. No, I'm not jealous. Why on earth would I be jealous?

6. This site is disturbing. Fans of cats should not follow that link.

7. Want to see a really nice tribute to the U.S. troops? It makes me tear up. But I'm a sucker for a man in uniform.

Everyone's a comedian

I hate April Fool's Day.