Dental woes

I've always been a big proponent of oral hygiene. It's a necessity. Not only are cavities painful, you will get no lovin' if your breath stinks. Ever since I was in high school, I've been fanatical about keeping my teeth and mouth in mint condition. I wasn't one of those crazy people who can found in the bathroom after lunch bent over the sink brushing. No, those people have gone overboard. But I was a floss-carrier and didn't hesitate to use it.

My relationship with the dentist began when I was 5 or so, and I had a dentist named Doctor Dixie. I never minded going to see him, but I remember very little besides his name and how it reminded me of a Dixie cup. Dixie cups and Mason jars. The things we remember...

My real pain began in junior high when I realized my teeth were screwed up. They were so screwed up, I had teeth growing every which way. I don't really remember getting teesed about my fugly mouth. The way I see it, my classmates missed a golden opportunity because I sure would've ridiculed me. And so began the extractions, metal appliances to stretch my mouth, and eventually braces. Thousands of dollars later, my teeth were nearly perfect, the only flaw being where my orthodontist pulled one of my teeth down from the roof of my mouth 180-degrees backwards. So I look a little vampirish on one side. Overall, they looked great. Until my car accident. One lost tooth and a bridge later, they still look pretty good.

So I'm just a little obsessed with taking care of my investment. I visit my dentist regularly for routine cleaning and check-ups. My last check-up was scheduled back in autumn, however the office called me to reschedule at the last minute. They canceled on me. Now, as much as I think oral hygiene is essential, I loathe the appointments. Not only are they almost always torturous, they're inconvenient as well. I have to take time off work. I have to move from my wheelchair to the dentist's chair. It's just not fun. So when they canceled on me, I was relieved. The problem is that I'm now being harassed to make another appointment. For a while it was a voice mail every now and then, reminding me to call the office. I didn't. Then I started getting letters. The last was from the dentist himself, explaining that people who miss their 6-month check-ups have more problems with cavities and gum disease. I consider that a scare tactic. I don't like it at all. What's next? Blackmail? And I was about to reschedule. Now, it's a stand-off. They canceled in the first place!

How long can I hold out? I don't know. Eventually I'll reschedule. And I should do it before I get a cavity. The last thing I need is my dentist saying I told you so.

Quick poll: How many of you see the dentist on a 6-month basis? How many cavities do you have? Do you think it's necessary? Are your teeth black and falling out? Does your breath stink? Do you brush your tongue?