The TomKat Baby

So today I got an email from my friend Kim that explained what is really going on with the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes alien baby. Kim has thoroughly thought about it, researched it, and collaged it. She is in the know. So without further ado, Kim is in agreement with the following theory:

"So I've been reading up on the rumors about alien baby cruise, and I decided to do a little photo comparison. I attached the collage that I made. I'm starting to buy into the hype that little Suri looks more like Josh Hartnett than any of other recent love affairs. Here's the timeline--she broke her engagement with Chris Klein in early March, was seen galavanting around with Josh Hartnett in early April, and started dating Tom in late April. In October, she starts showing so they have to announce that she's pregnant, BUT she doesn't have the baby until a year later and she was really big for most of her pregnancy, which is surprising given that she is a slight girl. Remember how fake her stomach looked in the later months? What if she got pregnant in April during a tryst with Josh, gave birth in December/January in secret, and then started carrying around some stuffing until April when they decided to stage the birth? This would explain why the birth certificate in April was not legit AND it would explain the pregnancy because Tom is supposedly sterile which is why he never had a natural child before. What do you think? I still can't get on board with the whole story because of how Tom cannot reproduce. But he's always wanted his own child, hence the adoptions in his 1st and 2nd marriage, so here is a good way to fake it. By the way, you know Oprah wasn't invited to the wedding because she said she didn't believe in his sincerity after the couch incident, but Brooke Shileds was invited!"

Now, while all that is good, I have a theory of my own. It's Keanu Reeves' baby! It's so obvious. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull the wool over my eyes. Or you have to have an excellent publicist.

Speaking of alien babies, hopefully I'll be an aunt by this time tomorrow. I'm very excited about the whole thing. Very excited.